joining you

dear darlin,
your mom, my friend
left a message on my machine
she was frantic
saying you were talking crazy.

that you wanted to do away with yourself.
guess she thought i would be the perfect resort
because we`ve had this inexplicable connection since our youth

and yes, they`re in shock
they are panicked
you and your chronic
them and their drama
you this embarassment
us in the middle of this delusion.

if we were our bodies,
if we were our futures,
if we were our defenses,
i`d be joining you.

if we were our culture,
if we were our leaders,
if we were our denials,
i`d be joining you.

i remember vividly a day years ago,
we were camping.
you knew more than you thought you should know.
you said "i don`t want ever to be brainwashed"
and you were mindboggling, you were intense.
you were uncomfortable in your own skin.
you were thirsty,
but mostly you were beautiful.

if we were our nametags,
if we were our rejections,
if we were our outcomes,
i`d be joining you.

if we were our indignities,
if we were our successes,
if we were our emotions,
i`d be joining you.

you and i, we`re like four year olds.
we want to know why, and how come about everything.
we want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
and never talk small talk and be intuitive,
and question mightily, and find god my tortured beacon.

we need to find likeminded companions.

if we were their condemnations,
if we were their projections,
if we were our paranoias, i`d be joining you.

if we were our incomes,
if we were our obsessions,
if we were our afflictions, i`d be joining you.

we need a reflection,
we need a really good memory.
feel free to call me a little more often.

(bkz: alanis morissette)
(bkz: supposed former infatuation junkie)