forty six and two

tool’un muhtesem tasfir edilemez sarkisi

my shadow’s shedding skin and i’ve been picking scabs again.
i’m down digging through my old muscles looking for a clue.
i’ve been crawling on my belly clearing out what could’ve been.
i’ve been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions for a piece to cross me over or a word to guide me in.
i wanna feel the changes coming down. i wanna know what i’ve been hiding in my shadow. change is coming through my shadow.
my shadow’s shedding skin i’ve been picking my scabs again.
i’ve been crawling on my belly clearing out what could’ve been i’ve been wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions.
i wanna feel the change consume me, feel the outside turning in.
i wanna feel the metamorphosis and cleansing i’ve endured within my shadow.
change is coming. now is my time.
listen to my muscle memory.
contemplate what i’ve been clinging to.
forty-six and two ahead of me.
i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. see my shadow changing, stretching up and over me soften this old armor.
hoping i can clear the way by stepping through my shadow, coming out the other side.
step into the shadow.
forty six and two are just ahead of me.