unsent

dear matthew, i like you a lot.
i realize you`re in a relationship with someone right now,
and i respect that.
i would like you to know that if you`re ever single in the future,
and you want to come visit me in california,
i would be open to spending time with you,
and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

dear jonathan, i liked you too much.
i used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me,
and think solely about themselves,
and you were plenty selfdestructive for my taste at the time.
i used to say the more tragic the better.
the truth is, whenever i think of the early 90`s,
your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday.

dear terrance, i love you muchly.
you`ve been nothing but open hearted,
and emotionally available and supportive,
and nurturing, and consummately there for me.
i kept drawing you in and pushing you away,
i remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch,
and cry in front of you for the first time.
you were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself.
what was wrong with me?

dear marcus, you rocked my world.
you had a charismatic way about you with the woman,
and you got me seriously thinking about spirituality.
and you wouldn`t let me get away with kicking my own ass.
but i could never really feel relaxed,
and looked out for around you, though,
and that stopped us from going any further than we did.
and it`s kinda too bad,
because we could`ve had much more fun.

dear lou, we learned so much.
i realize we won`t be able to talk for some time,
and i understand that as i do you.
the long distance thing was the hardest,
and we did as well as we could.
we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives.
i will always have your back and be curious about you,
about your career,
your whereabouts.

(bkz: alanis morissette)
(bkz: supposed former infatuation junkie)